


And I Look at You, and I'm Home

by devil_wears_winchester (Joyd)



Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Disney Movies, Drabble, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Past Brainwashing, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Spoilers, of a sort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-21
Updated: 2014-04-21
Packaged: 2018-01-20 07:33:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,084
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1501997
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Joyd/pseuds/devil_wears_winchester
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Thursdays, according to Tony, were Pixar and Pizza nights."</p><p>Finding Nemo turns out to not be so safe a movie choice after all. Not by a long shot.</p>
            </blockquote>





	And I Look at You, and I'm Home

Steve started catching up on Disney movies right after Loki and his attempted invasion, needing something more relaxed than spies and aliens and figuring out what was different from Now and Then. He'd seen _Pinocchio_ when it first came out, and seen everything before it at some point or another, but everything after that, _Fantasia_ included, had been impossible for him to see. Either because he was sick at the time, or they were busy with the war effort, or some trivial thing where they just couldn't get around to it. In the time since the invasion, he'd been able to see _Fantasia_ , _Dumbo_ , and _Bambi_ before he'd started taking regular missions from SHIELD, and _Cinderella_ , _Alice in Wonderland_ , and _Peter Pan_ afterwards, though he'd decided to forego the live movies for the time being, and there were some movies he couldn't get his hands on so easily anymore. Realism wasn't really what he wanted from the movies, after all.

Bucky, of course, hadn't seen anything during his time under HYDRA's control, but had vague memories of seeing _Pinocchio_ with Steve before time had become short and hard to come by. With SHIELD and HYDRA both dismantled -to the best of Steve's ability, at any rate-, and Bucky slowly regaining his memories in the -ostentatious- comfort of Stark Tower, they had the freedom and ability to catch up properly. Of course, Tony had his own opinions of what needed to be watched when, so they were at the mercy of queue he'd set up for them. 

Which, as it turned out, wasn't so bad. Seeing all the _Toy Story_ movies in a row had been a bit of a challenge, but they got through it. _UP_ was an entirely different story, but after Bucky panicked about Steve's hitching shoulders and made of a fool of himself trying to figure out what was wrong, it went a bit easier. Just a bit, though, because nothing would ever fix or soothe the memories of Peggy in that hospital bed, coughing and so weak, so unlike the strong, amazing woman he'd known in the 40's, and how she would never remember that he'd come back, how he'd never be able to keep his promise to her. 

Once again, he'd lost one person to gain another, and it was still as dreadfully, crushingly painful as it was after the train, trying to and failing to get wasted in that ruined bar. 

Thankfully, they'd finished _UP_ last week and were watching their fifth Pixar movie -Thursdays, according to Tony, were Pixar and Pizza nights-, empty pizza boxes stacked next to the coffee table and forgotten glasses of soda leaving water rings on the -likely expensive- glass as they watched a clown fish search for his son. 

The beginning had made it pretty clearly that the movie was going to hit them both harder than a movie about _fish_ had any reason to. Nemo and his bum fin was the first uncomfortable parallel, hitting Steve hard and fast, bringing back memories of asthma attacks and never being able to keep up with the other kids, but stubbornly trying anyway. They'd edged closer together from their respective ends of the couch, Steve subconsciously and Bucky because he saw the parallels, too, and could see Steve getting lost in lingering insecurities, super serum or no super serum. 

Then came Dory and Bucky tensing up tighter than the t-shirts Stark ordered for Steve, always a size too small despite the disapproving frowning from the man in question. The uncontrollable forgetfulness brought that horrible, blank stare back to Bucky's face after almost a week of stability and it was all Steve could do to draw him back to the present, pressing himself tight against his side from knee to shoulder, knocking ankles and shuffling elbows to keep from elbowing each other and get more comfortable.The tension drained from Bucky like a breath, and this time the elbow to Steve's ribs was intentional and appreciative. 

The rest of the movie alternated between having them on the edge of their seats and desperately pressed into each other. The sharks and other tank fish were fine, strange reminders of the Commandos and others aside, but then the _jellyfish_ and how could he not be reminded of Austria and Bucky strapped to that table. P. Sherman, 42 Wallaby Way, Sydney _-James Barnes. Sergeant. Serial Number 32557241.-_ , hurt and disoriented and Marlin carrying Dory to safety and ultimately ending up wounded himself and it's too much, they have to pause the movie so Steve can drown himself in the sink until he can get his head straightened out. 

When he has it under control, he shoves himself up against Bucky on the couch, leaving no space between them and clutching his hand so tightly he can feel his knuckles popping before he manages to loosen his hold enough so that the sound of Bucky grinding his teeth in an attempt to keep the pain off his face stops. Even then he doesn't move away, and Bucky doesn't try to dislodge him, even tangles up their legs together a bit more so they're practically tied together from wrist to ankle. 

Even with every blow they've taken in the last hour, neither of them are prepared for the last devastating hit. Sitting there and watching Dory beg Marlin not to leave -because remembering was so much easier around him and the feelings of home that came with him-, Steve is sure Bucky can feel his shoulders shaking again, but he can just as easily hear his stuttering breaths and see him angling his head to hide his eyes behind that long, ridiculous hair. Seeing Marlin _leave_ after all that, after Dory's pleads and everything, is too much for the both of them. 

They miss the rest of the movie, but that can easily be fixed without re-watching the entire thing again, which likely wouldn't be any easier to sit through a second time. 

When Clint passes by on his way to the kitchen an hour later, he finds them still sitting on the couch, Bucky wrapped around Steve like his life depends on it, perched in his lap with Steve clutching him like a lifeline and faces hidden between shoulders and necks, and generally looking like some of the contortionist routines Clint saw during his time with the circus. He makes sure to close the door and have J.A.R.V.I.S. delete the security footage for them.

**Author's Note:**

> I apologize for any and all forgotten words. My sentences tend to skip like an old CD player, though I try to catch it when I can. It's not always easy to realize a word is missing when I know how the sentence is /supposed/ to go.  
> If there's anything that doesn't quite flow right, either because a word is missing or because I randomly switched tenses in a way that doesn't make a lick of sense or doesn't seem intentional, feel free to let me know so I can come in and fix it up. There is a point at the end where the tense was switched intentionally, but the rest should all be past tense.
> 
> Also; never underestimate how painful I can make a Disney/Pixar movie when given the right incentive.


End file.
